For Maximum Efficiency, High Schools Construct Mandatory Student Schedules

In order for students to be prepared and able to complete all of their assignments, school boards everywhere have made the executive decision to administer meticulously thought-out schedules to each individual student. These mandated forms are believed to be a big step towards the perfectly balanced high school student. They no longer have to plan for after-school sports, or feel bad about skipping their extracurriculars to do homework, because now teachers are explicitly telling them that it’s okay. Instead of trying to subtly chip away at the social lives of these students, and stripping away any time for human interaction, teachers and authority figures can simply come out and admit what their goals were all along.

"I am really excited to spend all of my days alone with my books, this will be a great bonding experience for me and myself!" -Average Student

These schedules have planned everything down to the minute, to minimize student decision making and tell them exactly what they should be doing. These high schools want to make it perfectly clear that there should be no wasting time on fun social events or parties. This new curriculum will put today’s young people back on the path to a balanced lifestyle. With six hours of homework after a seven hour school day, many thought that an unspoken schedule was already in place, but just to eliminate any uncertainty, teachers have drafted up a homework and studying planner, including bonus features to help juniors leave time for ACT and SAT prep. There can now be no question, high school really is the best four years of any student’s life!